The worst enemy... for me.

Greetings and salutations fellow travelers,
Today I am reminded how we can be our own worst enemies with our mindset because with it we can face obstacles that we have to overcome but get trapped in how to overcome or the fear of not overcoming.
Too many times we speak to ourselves mentally and take no action because we create fear or an obstacle that really isn't there. For example saying to ourselves that we aren't worthy or that someone will laugh at us is one or two that I face regularly. But the truth is that we are worthy and that we can laugh with someone and they aren't laughing at us.
When we get stuck in this "mental rut" it can be challenging to get out of our heads so to speak because without mentality we wouldn't be as far as we are today. It is also challenging because our mind while our greatest strength can inhibit us from our true potential because of thinking too much at times. For me I have often created fears or obstacles that were only there mentally but became physical because of the strong mentality I felt. To overcome this obstacle it requires changing the mind but also support from others. That means being able to tell someone what you are experiencing mentally as well as being able to have support because trying to do it alone is okay, but much more difficult. We as a people were created or designed to help each other and be apart of other people's lives. While some may say solitude and doing it alone can be good or even healthy, in my experience doing anything alone over time can be much more difficult as well as harder to stay on track.
However overcoming obstacles in life be it mentally or actually physical is more fun when doing it with someone who is there for you when others are not. What I mean is we all have that one or more persons in our lives who is our true support and our true guidance to overcoming said obstacle.
So no matter what you may be facing today, know that you aren't alone and that someone somewhere probably has faced what you are facing and you can overcome this obstacle.
May your journey be bright and your travels be many fellow believers.

Premeditation

Wait! What? Is he talking murder now? You know he always says ask him questions, he doesn't bite.

Yes, you with your hand up?

With premeditation are you talking murder? Sir? If you want to answer...

Like I have said in the past, I love questions and will answer any question I can. And, I can answer your question. I am NOT talking about murder. I'm talking about your exercise routine.

Yup, here I go again. Exercise. I'm going to start by letting you all in on a little secret, before I started working out, I hated working out. I would get sore, chaffed and down right angry at my body and at what I couldn't do. I'd overdo it (See earlier post), I would try to do things I couldn't do. Then I started working out with in my limits. I found what my maximum heart rate should be while working out. I workout and try to hit that number and keep it there. Sometimes I go over, but, then I slow down or change what I'm doing to regain that target number. I hated where I started walking a mile in 30+ minutes. That said I left that time behind a long time ago. I can now do a mile in around 12 minutes when I'm running. I walk about 3.5 miles in an hour usually at a pace I am comfortable at and to increase the heart rate? Simply increase your incline.

Well, that's a great story, but, what's that got to do with premeditation?

Thank you sir, good point. I will answer that question...nothing. Good info, nothing to do with this days topic. I will get back to that. See, two questions and still no biting.

What my point for today is that you need to premeditate your workout regiment. What do I mean by that? Well, it's really a simple idea that I use. As a lot of you know I work out at 5:30am...yes that's in the morning. I premeditate the workout starting the night before. I know I need to get up at 5am in order to get to the gym at 5:30 to do my workout. So, what does that mean?

1. Go to bed in time to get enough sleep to get up and go to the gym.
2. Make sure I have the liquids I need for the workout before 5am.
3. Make sure I have the appropriate after workout protein bar for the next day.
4. Make sure my alarm is set for 5am.
5. Make sure that I have my workout clothes laid out so I can get dressed in the morning, without running around looking for my clothes.
6. Get up at 5am.
7. Get in my car by 5:20am.
8. Get my ass on a treadmill and go.

Make sure that you have a premeditated plan so when it comes to exercise, you will not be guilty of murdering your exercise regiment.

Until next time, Gentle Reader.

Jaxion Rebel

Plan?

Hello again all you seekers of enlightenment!

Today's story is about plans. How many of you have plans right now? Plans to what you are going to eat tonight, plans for the weekend, plans to wax your back? (If your plan is the last one, I really don't want to know!)

Any-who, here is my dilemma when it comes to plans. I make plans. I have plans. I make awesome, well thought out plans.  And you know what happens? 90% of the time those plans get changed. That would have driven me to a nervous breakdown as a child. After having children of my own though, I have learned to go with the flow. Maybe too much.  I know it's too much. At this point I say, "I'm going to do xxx today", and I already know it's not going to happen. Not only am I a drama queen, but I am also the world's biggest procrastinator. It's amazing my husband puts up with me!

So, what is a person to do?  Some people swear by plans. And you better run if you mess with those plans. Others fly totally by the seat of their pants and scoff at the idea of regulating their life. You might be one of these people. And if it works for you, great! Keep doing it. However, if you are like me, you might be having trouble finding that happy medium.

So what to do? What to do?!  Personally I'm going with baby steps. Really small baby steps. I am going to pick one thing this week I want to change. And by golly that is what I am going to do! Just that one little thing.  Then next week, if I've got that down pat I'll add something new. And so on and so forth. I plan on applying this to my exercise routine as well as my regular life. Right now I have plans. Big plans for all the things I want to change in my life. But just looking at that list makes me shudder and want to run. That usually is what happens too. Well, not actually run, because that would be cool. More like hide under my covers and play possum. So, to counteract that impulse I am going to break it down into small (aka teeny-tiny) steps. It may seem like it will take forever to get to my end goal, but building good habits takes time. Slow and steady wins the race my friend.

So, on to the moral of the story. Um, not sure there really is one. However, the PLAN is to change my life. Right here, right now. Maybe today's moral should be: you can teach an old dog new tricks?

*bark* *bark* *tail wag*

UltimateJinx007

NUOSU Bonus Article: Who Says?

I know we don't normally do a Thursday blog post, but, I have something to say, so what the hell. I know a lot of people like to give advice and think that their advice is the best advice. Well, that said I have some advice for you. Who says?

What can I mean by that? I have an axe to grind and here goes.

Who says how often you can exercise? Your body.
Who says what you are doing is right? Your body.
Who says if your choices in life are good or bad? You do.

I guess what I'm trying to say is block out all the negativity you get from the world around you. If you found something that works for you, then go ahead and do it. If its an exercise routine, an eating habit or anything else that you find helpful in your life. That said if there is something in your life that is unhealthy, unhelpful or just bad for you, toss it out on it's ear. Whether its a food, a job or a person. You don't need negativity in your life.

What makes YOU happy? What makes YOU the person you want to be? Those are the things you need to do, hear and see. Taste, touch and feel. The feelings you have are important and it's up to you to make them the best feelings you can.

I know this post sounds a bit gruff and you may ask why are you feeling like this? The truth is, I don't know. I'm happy. I love my life right now, yes, it's busy. Yes, it can be a struggle sometimes. That said, I have the best family in the world to get through whatever comes my way. My wife and I will soon be celebrating 20 years of marriage, my kids are great students and great kids soon to be off to college (2 years and 4 years from the writing of this). Does that mean that everything is perfect? No, I am trying to get in shape. I've lost a bunch of weight and am trying to tone and build muscle. It's not happening at a pace I'd like it to. What do I do? I redouble my efforts, because this is something I really want. Then the voices come from the world around me. "Don't overdo it", "Make sure you don't get hurt." I know all these things are said out of concern for me, but, why does the world seem to think that I didn't think of these things? Like I'm just running headlong at this with out a roadmap. I have a road map and since I'm not covering the ground I want I just upgraded my car from a Tonka truck to a midsized. I guess I will wrap up this rant (for can you really call it anything else?) by saying this. I appreciate what the world at large is trying to do, but, I got this. I want you, the world, to come on this ride with me. I want you to look out for me, but, redoubling my efforts is not a reason for an intervention. So let's mount this horse we call life and ride together into the great mystery that awaits.

Until next time Gentle Reader

Jaxion Rebel

Too often we give up on something just because it might seem too difficult or that we feel like we can't get where we see ourselves in our mind's eye.

It is times like this that we must continue on even when we feel we want nothing more but to quit. We must not quit. Quitting is for losers, at least in my opinion. I didn't get where I am today by throwing in the towel when life wasn't going my way. I mean I could've easily given up or quit when I lost my job, ended up behind on bills, struggled with personal business, struggled with my weight and a little bit of health, and even losing my car. But through it all I kept fighting, and getting up every single day even when it physically hurt due to the heavy depression. Eventually the sun came out and life started to get better. Now I'm looking back and seeing how I could've just said screw life and could've ended it right there, but there were too many people in my life that I didn't want to disappoint. Also the biggest factor is I didn't want to disappoint myself. Because I have not had the easiest time with life, but we all have our trials or tribulations and our own walks we must go through. I am glad now that I can see with all my heart of why I didn't just quit. That isn't to say that there will come times where quitting is the only option, because there will be times where quitting is the best option for you. You must do and decide what is best for you. 

 Quitting is not an option if you want to reach your goals, and/or dreams, whatever they may be. To steal a line from my favorite fitness instructor Jillian Michaels, "Don't phone this in...don't quit at the end...I know it's tough but you can do this." Look at it another way, if Thomas Edison had quit or given up we may still not have the light bulb today. It took him 1000 times to perfect that! That is simply amazing.

So my fellow travelers in the universe, I bid thee well, stay positive and keep moving forward.

Overdo your Routine?

You have your routine. You do it on a regular schedule. What happens when you overdo it?

This can be answered in a few ways.

The physical: You hurt, you pulled something, you over stretched your bounds. The is pain. There is hurt. There is learning. I'll come back to why this can be a good thing. Every cloud, silver lining kind of thing.

The mental: You question why this one workout takes its toll on you like none before. You think you're weak. You start trying to compare yourself to others around you. We'll talk soon as to why this is good and bad.

Let's start with why we feel pain. It's simple, everything I have ever read tells us we feel pain, so we can tell if we are doing something wrong. It shows us our physical limitations and keeps us from doing things that can seriously injure us. However, minor pain is a good thing, especially if your trying to increase your muscles. In order to increase muscle size and ability you literally have to tear your muscles. That's right, you have to create small tears in the muscle and when they heal your muscles get bigger. Weird, huh? In this case pain is a good thing. Minor physical pain (only you can decide what you consider minor) can be a good thing.

That said I am going to give you this small piece of advice...Do not go out and injure yourself trying to bulk up. It still takes time and over doing it on a regular basis is what causes long term injury. Yes, working out and trying to build muscle can hurt you, but, doing it correctly and learning how to do it and not just go off half-cocked is important too.

So the silver lining is that if you learn to do things right, listen to your body and give it time, you can do this and make yourself a better you. All things that we all want right? That's why your reading these.

On to what your thinking. In a lot of ways what you think is so much more important than what you do. What do I mean by that? Simply this...believe in yourself and good things will happen. alright, you got me, I'll step back and try to explain myself.

This past Saturday I did a workout that that killed me. I was working out with another guy and I wanted to keep up (and honestly, wanted to do more than what he could). The problem in my mind is that I started an hour before he got there and I did my cardio in the process of getting ready to do the lifting. Our focus on this particular day was legs. I ran a mile, in the fastest time I ever have, and then I did my time on the stepper and worked on my lower back (the weakest point of my body). Then he showed up and we got started on the legs (Cause running and doing the stepper really don't count for legs, right?). I put up the most amount of weight on the leg press that I have done in years. We did leg curls, leg press and calf extensions. All this focusing on my legs. I woke up on Sunday and my legs felt lie someone took a dagger and plunged it into my thighs every time I would sit down or stand up. What was my decision to fight this pain? That's right I suited up and went for an almost 2 mile run...bad idea. Why? Why did I do it?

I was mad at my body for being in such pain and I thought that if I was able to get moving it would help loosen up those muscles. I was mad that I hurt, I was disappointed that I was unable to workout and be fine the next day. I was sad that even after I figured out a way to "overcome" the pain, it didn't help.

Mentally, I couldn't accept what physically my body was telling me. Thankfully, for me I have a wonderful wife and she was able to get me to look at this in a different way. To skip a workout today simply so that I could heal a bit. I'll be back at tomorrow, but, today I am letting my body heal a bit. This will allow me to be both happier (mental state) and stronger (physical) in the long run, with no major or extended injury.

I hope when you're working through the two states of mental and physical fitness that you can take something from this that will help you get through that day or two after you overdo your workout and come out the other side both mentally and physically in better shape.

Tell us what you think. Tell us what you'd like to have us talk about. You can just comment below or email us at nutuporshutupblog@gmail.com

In social media please mark us as #nuosu or www.nuosu.blogspot.com

Until next time Gentle Readers,

Jaxion Rebel

Lemonade

Hello my little eager beavers!

Show of hands: Who has heard the expression "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade"?

Well, to be honest, I love lemonade, but I am not a fan of lemons. I mean this literally and figuratively.  You see, I know it's hard to believe, but I am a whiner. A really, really, really big whiner. And a drama queen. (Bet you couldn't tell!) This makes every obstacle I encounter on my quest to get in shape the proverbial "end of the world". 

The latest obstacle is that I had to pass on joining that gym I so badly wanted to belong to. Really, really, really wanted to join. <sad face>  (Tired of all the "really" yet? Told you I was a drama queen!) So I have spent the last week bemoaning my fate and sitting on my butt and stuffing my face. Like I do every time. And that is one more lemon I will have to eat, kicking and screaming the whole time.

However, time for some lemonade. So it didn't work out (Pun completely intended.). Now what?  Back to the basics. Running outside is free. Using a local park to do some exercises is free. Playing with my kids is free. No extra money spent and no time wasted going back and forth to a gym. It would seem this is where I need to be right now in my life. And you know what? I don't think it's a bad thing anymore. Admittedly, this isn't my first choice, but this is the lemon life has handed me and I plan on squeezing that lemon right back in life's eyes!

So how about you? Any lemons needing squeezing out there?  Take some time to complain to yourself and anyone else if they are willing to listen. Get it out of your system. Then start setting up that lemonade stand. It's time for your exercise routine, or perhaps your life in general, to kick back a cool glass of lemonade and go kick some butt!

Stay frosty my friends!

UltimateJinx007

The power of I am...words of encouragement

There is this book called the Power of I am by Joel Olsteen that for me opened up another window into the positive light I see. Basically we all have the power within us to start changing our lives. And it starts with positive affirmations. For me I have like 20 that I say out loud in front of the mirror every morning, and I find the days that I don't say things like I am beautiful, I am strong, I love my body, I love how fit I am, etc that my days aren't always that great. However I want to encourage you today because YOU are AWESOME. YOU are achieving your dreams and goals. YOU are good enough. YOU are worthy. YOU can do whatever you have set out to do.

I have always been a person who uplifts and encourages others. To steal a line from one of my favorite fitness instructors, Jillian Michaels "Don't phone this in, you can do this." No matter what you are facing today, I want you to be encouraged and uplifted. I want you to know that while it might be tough in that moment to overcome a fear, or a specific challenge physically you can do it! I believe in you! 

Commitment!

Greetings again my Gentle Readers. Today we look at commitment. I'm going to start by defining commitment as per dictionary.com.

noun

1. the act of committing.

2. the state of being committed.

3. the act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself.

4. a pledge or promise; obligation:

We have made a commitment to pay our bills on time.

5. engagement; involvement:

They have a sincere commitment to religion.

6. perpetration or commission

 

According to dictionary.com these are the options for the definition of the word commitment. So how do we go forward bettering ourselves with commitment? Well, let's take a look at each definition and see if we can work it into our new lifestyles.

 

1. The act of committing.  This is an easy one (Really they all will be), commit to your new lifestyle. Whether you want to eat less, exercise more or just to feel better. Commit to yourself that you can make it happen and then figure out how to make it happen!

 

2. The state of being committed. This is taking what you have committed to and making that change and sticking to it. So let's say your committed to losing weight, now find out how you want to go about losing weight and be committed to doing it.

 

3. The act of committing, pledging, or engaging oneself. What does this mean? Well, here's a couple ideas. You've committed to your new lifestyle, you have figured out how your going to do it. Now, commit to it in writing. You can join programs that will ask you for weekly goals and overall goals. You can write it down at home and hang it on the refrigerator. Something that you see a lot and that then begins to become part of your subconscious.

 

4. A Pledge or Promise; Obligation.  Let's focus on a promise. Promise yourself for the betterment of yourself that you are going to do what it takes to change your way of life. A promise to yourself is much stronger and harder to break than a promise to someone else.

 

5. Engagement; involvement. Be engaged with your goals. Read those goals everyday. If you have a copy on your fridge, make another copy and carry it with you. If you make your goals through some kind of program, write those down and carry them with you. Be engaged and be willing to adjust. That is something I should mention here. If your changes include making trips to the gym, then make them. If you can't one morning, make time to do it later. Make time however, there is time in your day, everyday.

 

6. Perpetration or commission. This is where we talk about a workout buddy. Commission a friend, relative, co-worker someone to keep you on track. It's a lot harder to keep going if you don't have someone working with you. Going alone isn't impossible, it's just a lot harder. Find a buddy and get moving.

 

I hope that something in here is something you can use. Remember, I'm not telling you have to do, this is simply a guide of what works for me and I hope will help you in someway.

 

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Email us at nutuporshutupblog@gmail.com  and ask us questions, give us ideas of things that you would like us to talk about.

 

Until next time Gentle Reader,

 

Jaxion Rebel

Moderation is key

Moderation is key, what does that mean?

We all enjoy food, or at least everyone I know. For me it was junk food; chips, candy, pizza, ice cream, cookies, you name it I probably enjoyed gorging myself on it.

Now looking back on how far I have come and how much I prefer fruits and veggies over junk food I can laugh. That isn't to say I don't have a candy bar now and then. The trick is to have one not more than that in a week. 

So something I've learned about lifestyle change and making yourself better, is to take each moment and each day in moderation, at least when it comes to food and things that aren't necessarily "good for you."

The only thing(s) I think that shouldn't be done in moderation, are loving yourself, loving the world around you, being grateful, and staying positive. You can always love more, and there is something you can always be grateful for. So you had a candy bar or a soda or a bag of chips at lunch, that is not a big deal. Just remember moderation is the key. Be thankful that you only had one of those things and that you can enjoy it but don't want it as much as you did a week ago, or however long ago since you began your journey.

Loving what the universe is doing for me now...
Embrace today and see you next time fellow traveler in the universe...

Where Do I Belong?

Hello My Little Sponges!

Ready for another mind-bending, detail filled post?  Ok, more like a little dollop of information for your viewing pleasure, but hey, it's nice in my world! <grin>

What I want to talk about today is about finding out where you belong...as it pertains to your physical fitness that is. Some people swear by a gym. Others would only work out in the safety of their own home. Me, I'm more of a fitness location hopper. I tried a 24 hour gym that had equipment but no instruction. I tried the local Y, but had too many choices. I tried a new chain fitness place, but there really wasn't the equipment I was looking for. So many ways to work out, but where do I belong? Where do you belong?

Well, I don't have an answer to that, but my advise is to keep looking if you haven't found that special place, or stay where you are if that works for you.  In other words, if it's working don't fix it and if it's broke, do something about it! Cliché I know, but true. Of course, we are all changing; physically as well as mentally. So, what has worked for you in the past might change. Look at it as an opportunity to try new things. Get a free pass to a gym you've wanted to check out or buy that new piece of equipment you've been drooling over.

Boredom is the enemy! Boredom with your workout routine is not only mental, but physical as well. Keep doing the same thing over and over and over and over (you get the idea) and your body will get bored as well. It's that dreaded plateau I'm sure you've heard so much about. So be sure to mix up your routine once in a while. Take that belly dancing class you've secretly wanted to take. Ever wanted to try boxing? Look for a place giving a special on lessons. What is important is finding something that speaks to you. That place where you belong, even if it's only temporary.

As for me, I'm trying a new place again. A small crossfit gym with free-weights, boxing, and Spartan training. That is where I am searching for my place to belong. Will I find it, or will I move on in search of that "special place" that speaks to me? Tune in dear readers and together we will find the answer.

Until our crazy lives cross again,

UltimateJinx007

Thought Versus Follow Through

What is your thought process on working out? Do you set goals and follow through or do you set goals and hit the snooze alarm. This thought process works not only for working out, but, for life in general. What can he possible be talking about now? Well, I'm glad you asked the guy sitting next to you, but, I hear it. Now, I'll answer it.

For years I would make these grand plans to work out and get in shape. I'd say things like "I'm going to exercise 3 days a week and eat better." or "I'm not only going to work out to lose weight, but, I'm going to bulk up and become a weight lifter." These grand statements are a thought. I would tell anyone who would listen that I was going to do this. I felt that the more people I told the better I'd stick to the plan. All it really did was make me feel like I was letting everyone else down. It was really never about letting myself down. How do I fix this? Than you for asking me directly this time. I will answer any questions you may have. I don't bite.

I call it thought versus follow through. So we went through what I mean by thought. Now, let's talk about what I mean by follow through. First things first. This doesn't mean you can never skip a day of doing something. Life happens, things get in the way. So what do I mean about follow through? Well, what I mean is pretty simple when you break it down. Right now I am working out Monday, Wednesday and Friday at 5:30am. I also work out Saturday, this is not as strict as I don't usually work on Saturday's. To follow through on my plan I have to get up at 5am, every day I plan on working out. I have to get out of bed and get ready to exercise. Then I have to get in my car and drive to the place I work out. Get out of my car and walk in. Then, I have to get on a treadmill and turn it on. I know this looks childish and broken down a lot further than it needs to be. That said, I have to do it that way in my head. Anyone of those steps can break down my routine.

There is a sacrifice to the follow through portion of this pro/con list. I once would get home and stay up until 11pm or midnight every night. That doesn't happen anymore, if I make 10:30pm that is a late night. I cant get up and sit around and sip coffee. I have things to do and places to go. I have also found, that working out has overflowed into my daily life. I am much more focused during my day at work. I am much more creative and have more meaningful conversations with my loved ones. I don't spend all day thinking about how long it is going to be until I get to eat again. Life is better!

To sum up what I have been talking about...Just get off your ass and do it!

Until next time Gentle Reader,

Jaxion Rebel

Stressed?

Stress? Stress? STRESS!?!

Now you have started a new lifestyle right? Isn't it just a diet? What's the difference? Let's take a look, from my point of view.

A Diet:

A diet is something you do for a short period of time. You have a very restricted diet and they want you to cut out all kinds of things you love. Then, they say you need to exercise and get moving. Ugh, who wants to do that? Well, I guess we all do. I have been on so many diets in my life, that I could probably tell you about a bunch of them. Guess what? Not one has worked. I would try so hard and get so stressed out trying to do this diet that I would just throw my hands up. Then whatever weight I had lost I gained back, plus some. All that does what? Stresses you out big time.

A lifestyle change:

A lifestyle change is something you want to do now, tomorrow and for the rest of your life. Isn't this a diet? Yes and no. In the beginning it sure feels like one. It stresses you out in the beginning, it really does. However, as time goes by it gets easier, it really does. I used to eat fast food or out to a restaurant 3 - 4 times a week. Plus snacking constantly. That all changed when I decided that I need to do something. No longer was I stressed about what to eat or what I WANTED to eat. I wanted to lose the weight and I knew that in order to do that I had to follow my lifestyle change.

I'm not saying that it was easy. I'm not saying that I am always on point. The big thing to understand is that YOU have to make the choice to change. Change doesn't come by luck or happenstance, change is something you need to affect. I would use a bad weekend or even a bad day to turn away from all those diets I used to be on. Then the downward spiral as I returned to the way I used to do things. Now, if I have a bad day or a bad meal, I look at the situation that got me there, was it my weaknesses? Was it something I had control over? I look and ask these questions and then I try and answer those questions.

How does this help me, you may ask. Well, it might, it might not. Like I have said before and will most likely say more times than you care to hear. This is what is happening in my life, this is what works for me. I am simply hoping to get you to look at what you do and maybe find some tidbit in here that helps you.

If something here hits a mark or helps you out feel free to tell us about it below. I love comments and will answer all questions you may have on this or any other post.

We are also looking for more people to share their happiness and positivity for the blog. If your interested please email us at nutuporshutupblog.com

Please follow us and let other know about us. Please when using social media use #nuosublog

Until next time gentle reader,

Jaxion Rebel

New beginnings and positive things

Greetings and salutations from your new author on this blog. This is the first time I have done a blog or something along those lines and it should be fun. So I'll start things off with a quick background and/or introduction about who I am.
Okay so I've often been known as Shazaza, Shazam, Shazza or even Shasta. But most call me Shaz, at least those who don't call me by name which is Sharissa (that's Char-ee-saw, not Teresa, or how it looks, like Char-issa...lol). When I was younger, that used to bother me but now I laugh and just say after 26 years I'm used to it. I'm 26 years old, been divorced for almost 2 years now and I'm truly figuring out life and what it has to offer. I've always seen the positive side to things and always do my best to help others see the light and the good. I'm also working at helping other people with uplifting and encouragement and just lending a hand where I can.
Now that formalities are taken care of, we can begin with today's subject of positiveness: don't beat yourself up. Easier said than done right? Take it from someone who knows what it is like to beat yourself up day after day, year after year for years. So how does this cycle end? Well for me I decided one day to start changing how I thought and I had help from friends and family. Staying positive and not beating yourself up isn't any easy thing to do, especially in the world we live in today. There's always some new diet, or some new "fad" of sorts basically telling us to beat ourselves up. For me I look at myself and tell myself 10 things that I love about myself every morning out loud.I also say 3 positive things for every one negative thing that occurs. That is basically it for now guys and gals. Sorry so short and sweet.

Bad Intentions; Good Choices

What do I mean by bad intentions; good choices? Well, just that. Remember how I told you in my last post that I stumble and I fall? Well this post will show that as well as how sometimes I stumble and then catch myself. This is more of a confessional then a post. I just feel that by writing this down, it will be a reminder to me the next time I hit a low.

Let's set up the scene. I'm a bowler. You know a ball, a lane and 10-pins. I'm a decent bowler averaging somewhere in the mid 180's. Not great, not bad. I did a tournament his past weekend with a  buddy of mine. It was basically we bowled 6 games, 3 of those are used as doubles (total includes my three game total and his three game total) and the other 3 are used as a singles score. That's a lot of background that probably isn't needed, but, allow me this license to tell my story. Long story short, I bowled really, really bad. Not horrible in the doubles portion, but really bad in the singles. Sadly, that day my emotions were tied directly to my ability or non-ability to bowl. What did I do? Yup, you guessed it turned to food. Why? Food makes me feel better. Ok, in all fairness I had the intention to turn to food. I succeeded in a lot of ways to not turn to food. Here is that story...

I had to go directly from bowling to one of my other hobbies...I'm a role-player. What's a role-player? Well, ever hear of Dungeons and Dragons? I do that and I love it. However, I will tell you all about my strange hobbies another time. I had to grab food on the way. First thing in my head was Hardee's, great burgers and I could make it "healthy" by having them wrap it in lettuce. So low carb, but, not low fat or low anything I should eat. Well, after arguing with myself, I ended up at Subway. Here, I ordered a salad (not chopped). Got my chicken breast salad with spinach, tomatoes, cucumbers, pickles, onions and banana peppers. Got a couple diet cokes and 3 cookies. See here we stumble again. On my way, I open the small paper envelope with the raspberry cheesecake cookies in it and proceed to eat a cookie. It tasted wonderful, but, couldn't enjoy it because I was arguing with myself the whole time. So in a blind thought, I opened the window and threw the other 2 cookies out the window. A win! Except for that whole littering part. At least everything is bio-degradable.

that is my story of bad intentions; good choices. This shows that I still struggle, even with the fact that I have lost a bunch of weight. It shows that even when your bad you can still make good choices. Perfection is not needed, will power is. Even if you make one bad choice, you can make many more good choices. I hope this story helps in someway for you.

Until next time Gentle Reader,

Jaxion Rebel